Domme Addiction Q&A
DommeAddiction:
How long have You been a Dominatrix, and what was it that brought You to this role?
Goddess Maya Liyer:
Being a dominant female has run through my veins since the very early years of my life. I can recall when I was only two years old and my elder brother came running towards me crying because a few older boys had bullied him, I decided to take matters into my own hands, grabbed the plastic chair I was sitting on, smashed it over the bullies and went back to my elder brother to comfort him.
Being a true Dominatrix is not a role but a lifestyle choice and using the term "role" waters down the importance of the title. I evolved into professional domination as I was already naturally drawn to the underground alternative scene in the late 90's it was already in my blood and it was a natural step, thinking back, most men were submissive around me, whatever the setting and this was the most natural path I could have taken in life.
DommeAddiction:
What skills do You think a successful Dominatrix such as Yourself needs to have?
In this day and age, the answer is very different from what it might have been only ten years ago. This is due to changes in society, technology and the new mediums of communication and interaction with patrons.
These days there are three main revenue streams available and they all require different skills.
Cam and phone sessions did not exist when I first started professional Domination, these days they are very common and something which, despite my very traditional beginnings, I enjoy immensely. Cam and phone are very different to real-time sessions, the level of physical skill required is arguably much lower, but for me, there is a higher level of visual and technical presentation involved, the observational and psychological aspects are very similar to what is listed below for real-time sessions. Cam sessions can involve therapy, advice, companionship, it isn't always high protocol domination and fetish. An important skill to learn is active listening.
Also because I am not present with the patron, I feel a heightened sense of responsibility with regards to safety when I am camming, an example of this would be breathplay. Cam sessions can last a lot longer than real-time sessions, particularly if you have an evening on cam seeing all of your devotees, whilst this can be very tiring towards the end of a six-hour working session, I really enjoy the sense of community on cam, it is often exhilarating for me and very therapeutic for my patrons.
Producing and selling recorded media is such a labour intensive part of the work, requiring a huge number of skill sets and a big commitment to constant work and updates. For me personally, I don't lean towards over produced professional photoshoots, the vast majority of the media I produce is done on my mobile phone and my own editing suite, I like to maintain my own style and vision, not relying on outside parties, I think this approach has always given my work a unique aesthetic.
Femdom/Findom and fetish filming have always come quite naturally to me, it was an easy transition due to many years of experience gained in real time sessions and general every day dominant behaviour. Being able to convey myself on camera particularly with something like POV clips or customs is so much easier when drawing on actual real-life experiences. If I am filming with other mistresses or slaves then I treat these almost as extensions of my real-time sessions.
I am self-taught in graphic design, photo and video editing, special effects, photography and filmmaking. Natural creativity is the one skill that one can not simply learn, you either have this or you don't and by keeping all of my media production in-house, the finished product is an exact replication of my creative vision.
With regards to a working professional Dominatrix in a real-time capacity, on a practical level a mastery of the craft is essential, knowledge of the setting in which any activities are to take place, the proficient use of equipment and implements, including safety checks for faults etc. First-aid training together with health and safety, cleanliness and hygiene at all times are also paramount.
On a personal/psychological level, it is incredibly important to be able to read a patron and have a very good idea of their likes and limits in advance and during the session, on first meeting, these individuals are strangers remember. This is not nearly as easy as it sounds as it is very common for patrons to be shy or reluctant about what they are truly into and also there is no yardstick for what someone means when they say "hit me as hard as you can" for example. There are many, many variables in this subjective sentence and requests/situations like these often have to be measured and reacted to during the session.
I often find it to be the case that a patron who claims no health issues whatsoever is likely to have some underlying issue that I really need to be aware of before a session commences. I usually, therefore, start all private sessions with new patrons by conducting a brief conversation, during which time I am actually examining them for signs of physical injury, potential mental health issues or inebriation, this process starts initially from email/phone conversations and is fine-tuned from the moment they walk through the door. It is something that they will not even be aware that I am doing when we first meet. This is also a good opportunity to put them at ease, get to know their personality and gain extra insight into their fetishes/limits.
Once I have ordered them to remove their clothes and kneel, I will move on to physical touch, again this is an opportunity to glean further insight into them as an individual. A lot can be determined by the temperature and moisture level of their skin, and their "resting" heart rate. I will check their eyes for both contact and for pupil dilation, I will determine their posture and flexibility, searching for potential physical injuries that they haven't mentioned, I will also test their reaction to mild pain, shock, sensual touch and how they respond to verbal cues. I refer to this as a body scan and it is a technique that I have honed over many years of practice, it is so natural for me to do this within the early stages of a real-time session that it appears seamless and the patron will have no idea that it is happening.
Once a session commences, there are no hard and fast rules due to the massive number of variables involved. Really there is no substitute for experience here, as it's not uncommon for a scenario to take a different turn mid-session and the ability to react to this is down to an individuals knowledge and experience.
On the subject of aftercare, I read a lot of different, very strong opinions on this subject and to be honest, again it all depends on the individual and the situation. Anyone who believes there is a one size fits all approach to aftercare is lacking in skill and experience. For a one hour session, I will always instruct the patron to allow ninety minutes, this will incorporate the conversation and body scan at the beginning of the session and allow for a shower and aftercare if needed at the end of the session.
Usually, I will begin to bring the patron back down again towards the end of a session, this is where the observational skills at the beginning of the session come into play. Another very important skill to master when conducting real-time sessions is time management, by this, I don't mean watching the clock and stopping everything dead on the hour, but managing the limited time efficiently and being aware of the time and pacing the session accordingly.
I will start to bring their heartbeat back down again and begin to get them back into a relaxed state as the session is coming to an end. For a large number of experienced professional men they are looking to straighten themselves out and get back to work, the last thing they want is an enforced half-hour chat once they have enjoyed the session they came for. With other people, particularly first time novices, or those that have had a particularly intense session they will require some time to relax and reflect on what has just happened. I usually offer fruit and either tea or water during this cool down period and will happily talk them through any questions or observations they may have.
Some patrons specifically do not want aftercare as they may have feelings of guilt, embarrassment, a desire not to eat into your time etc, again this comes down to your observational and interpersonal skills as a professional and your ability to read these situations. I have always prided myself on the very long term professional relationships I have maintained with my patrons and this is largely due to being able to accurately read their feelings, communicating effectively and maintain the highest levels of discretion at all times.
The importance of respecting boundaries, mindfulness and discretion cannot be understated with high-end and/or high profile patrons.
DommeAddiction:
Can You explain what makes a man want to be a slave?
Goddess Maya Liyer:
This is a very difficult question to answer without context.
Not all men that are interested in femdom want to be slaves, some are fetishists, interested in feet, boots, shoes, leather, latex etc. some fetishists are not even naturally submissive, but are easily controlled by the object of their fetish desire.
Some are into bondage, corporal punishment, cuckolding, voyeurism and so on, many of these activities do not automatically assume that the man involved wants to be a slave. Often the complete opposite is true and men willingly partake in these activities with a professional dominatrix for their own gratification.
It is very rare to find a man either in a professional or personal capacity whose genuine interest is pure submission. In these rare instances, all of the above activities may be on the table but they are not undertaken for the gratification of the man in the first instance but that of the dominant female. Paradoxically a truly submissive man would derive gratification from serving and pleasing his dominant, so figure that one out!!!
As to what might create these base feelings in the first place, personally, I believe it is a combination of genetics, environmental and cultural influences, experienced often at a young age and throughout our lives.
Furs has been ethically sourced locally in London and NYC.
DommeAddiction:
What are Your favourite fetishes to explore with Your slaves?
Goddess Maya Liyer:
I am a natural sadist and my first love at a young age was leather, but I don't have a favourite activity as such. For me, it is more about the personal connection with the individual, I am very drawn to submissive men, whatever the activity. An example would be a gentleman that contacted me a few years ago to discuss his fur fetish. He was a complete beginner and was struggling to find his position on platforms like Fetlife as he was routinely mocked for not being "hardcore" enough in his approach to BDSM/fetish.
I genuinely found him to be very intelligent and interesting, he was working as a researcher and conservationist in the Amazon rainforest and was taking lots of photographs of the wildlife there. It is very unusual for me to spend considerable time talking with potential patrons as there are so many time wasters out there, but in this instance, we developed a close relationship online discussing both his photography and our intense passion for fur.
When we eventually met, he flew to London stopping off in New York, where he purchased several handmade pieces of fur clothing from a bespoke furrier in the city. This process was very interesting and exhilarating as he would send photos of the pieces being made and we discussed the various items and how they would be incorporated into the session when he arrived in London.
This interaction was our foreplay before our meeting and really built the tension and excitement. The session itself was amazing, I won't go into detail, but the intensity of our shared fetish and the interplay of submission and dominance was as exciting as any "hardcore" session I have partaken in. We chatted for several hours afterwards, it wasn't a case of aftercare, as there was no requirement for it, but the nature of the play was so intense that we were both keen to share our feelings and experiences.
It is these types of interaction that I really enjoy, where a real journey and exploration of the mind takes place within a dominant and submissive backdrop, the activity itself is really just a tool or expression.
Incidentally, he did agree in advance to me discussing this topic.
DommeAddiction:
Are there any negatives involved in being a Dominatrix?
Goddess Maya Liyer:
Firstly I have to say that the positives far outweigh the negatives but like anything in life and work there will always be negative aspects.
Being a Dominatrix carries a high risk, despite all of your best efforts and precautions, you are in effect dealing with strangers at your first meeting. There are always potential dangers presented by personal interactions with strangers and these are well documented, there are some horror stories out there of robbery, assault, rape and murder.
I consider myself to be very careful and a good judge of character, but I have experienced some hair-raising situations in real time sessions. These situations have been limited to a few instances over a long period, but I have noticed that in the last couple of years the type of clientele seeking sessions with a professional dominatrix has shifted dramatically.
In my experience, recently as say 6 years ago the type of individual that enquired about real-time sessions was a different breed to the majority of current potential patrons. There were far fewer dominatrices offering real-time sessions back then and the overall quality of women in the industry was far higher, more skilled and more experienced. With the advent of social media and the general online aspect opening up this industry to a wider audience, I have witnessed a rush of escorts, strippers and porn stars entering the market.
It's often a good idea in any business to look into new avenues and revenue streams, but there is always a cause and effect at play and sometimes unintended consequences arise from such movements in any market. There has also been a rush of new clients as the societal stigma has softened over the years and people are more comfortable discussing and exploring any kinks they may have. With newer patrons, there has been a marked drop in respect of the dominant-submissive dynamic and more of an assumption that sexual services will be provided, which is not the safest scenario for traditional dominatrices.
I guess the lines have well and truly been blurred between escorts, strippers and porn stars offering domination and sexual intercourse and a dominatrix offering more traditional services. The increased risks that this shift in attitudes has presented, leave a dominatrix more vulnerable to sexual assault or rape than they were some years ago.
I'm fairly certain that this won't be a popular opinion, but this has been my experience and that of other dominatrices that I have spoken with. Not many will speak out about this, for fear of being labelled a slut shamer or believing that one aspect of sex work is nobler than the other, which I do not believe. But for me, I see this as a safety issue, and I have adjusted my approach accordingly when dealing with new potential applicants. I have no problem with whatever services any individual wishes to offer their clients, but every action has a reaction and this market is no different.
Time wasters and freeloaders have always been an issue in this line of work, but you will find people like this in all industries. The techniques and tactics of these individuals have gotten more sophisticated over recent years with advances in technology and the numbers are greater, but timewasters can only live up to their title if one allows and indulges them. I am very adept at completely ignoring these approaches and have never allowed them to become an issue.
The Femdom industry is a potentially fantastic platform for dominant women to carve out a career doing something independently that they have a passion for and showcase their talents and creativity. Its a wonderful business most of the time. However, it can be a magnet for girls of a toxic disposition with a negative agenda. Over the years I have seen weakness and insecurity leading to a pack mentality and targeted bullying campaigns against certain individuals, much like cackling witches scheming around a cauldron. I have lost count of the number of times other mistresses have warned me about other mistresses, often with second or third-hand information that they have heard through someone else, through someone else, through someone else. I never listen to rumours and will always make up my own mind.
Social media becomes weaponised and it is rarely a full frontal assault by an individual, but sneaky, snarky sub tweeting from people that need to operate in groups out of cowardice and insecurity. Lots of lies, spreading false rumours and threatening behaviour takes place and its a shame that we see this in a marketplace that is specifically supposed be occupied by strong, independent, confident women. Genuinely successful women in this industry are too busy working to get diverted into playground behaviour. I group these toxic people in the same category as timewasters and freeloaders.
Previous Double Filming Sessions with Fetish Liza and Goddess Maya Liyer (Tributes has changed since)
DommeAddiction:
Have You met many other Dommes?
Too many to list over the years, from all over the world. I have learned many things, made some fantastic lifelong friendships and had an amazing amount of fun along the way.
DommeAddiction:
What is the cruellest thing You have ever done to a slave?
That's a very subjective question and I value the right to privacy of my patrons. But one funny instance that always stands out in my mind was a situation that occurred at Club Pedestal around 8 years ago.
As this is more of a social setting than a paid session, I always treat club nights as a time when I can really cut loose and give the slaves hell. On this evening it was the end of the night in the changing area and 4 or 5 subs were lurking around, grovelling and the like. There was one sub who was in particularly good shape physically, flowing mane of thick black hair, tall, tanned, good-looking, confident bordering on arrogant who was trying to talk to me without seeking his mistresses permission. He started trying to chat me up, complimenting me on my looks and dress etc, the usual.
I didn't like his attitude and the disrespect that he showed to both me and his mistress, and with no implements to hand I took off his belt and ordered him to undress and get on his knees. I beat him severely into the ground and when he was a quivering mess lying on the floor in front of everyone, my intentions were to drag him out of the changing area and dismiss him in disgust to go and apologise to his mistress.
I grabbed a huge handful of his hair and gave it the kind of tug that would be required to start moving a person of his size and his entire hair came off in my hand making the kind of ripping noise that silenced the room and made everyone look. My first instinct was to throw the wig on the floor and stamp on it. I got as far as throwing it on the floor, where it looked like a giant rat, but I stopped short of stamping on it. The whole thing had happened so quickly and unexpectedly, and in the few seconds that followed while I was gearing up for the stamp and laugh, the situation dawned on me and came into focus. This arrogant sub had aged about twenty years in an instant and the look on his face was absolutely priceless, one of horror and unadulterated humiliation, I will never forget the sight of his bald head (now a paler shade to the rest of him) with tufts of patchy hair, glue and tape.
The other subs were stifling huge uncontrollable laughs behind their hands as he frantically grabbed the rat thing from the floor. I wanted him to be presentable for his mistress so I took it from him and tried to fit it back on his head, needless to say, it was slightly skew-whiff which made the whole situation more humiliating, all this took place under the backdrop of what had now become belly laughs all around.
I am laughing hard even to this day writing this and I do not think I have ever seen anyone more genuinely humiliated and degraded in my life.
DommeAddiction:
How do You know when You have truly broken someone and are completely in control of them?
Goddess Maya Liyer:
When someone genuinely cannot get you out of their mind. This can take many forms depending on the activity and the individual.
DommeAddiction:
Are the people in Your personal life aware of Your work?
Goddess Maya Liyer:
Some are, some aren't, again it depends on the individual, it's not something that I rush to tell people.
DommeAddiction:
Cash or gifts? What type of tribute do You prefer from Your slaves to show they appreciate You and are sincere in their desire to serve You?
Goddess Maya Liyer:
Cash and Crypto is always king, but a well thought out gift is always appreciated.
DommeAddiction:
What role does social media such as Twitter, Skype, etc. play in Your business?
Goddess Maya Liyer:
Not a great deal, to be honest, I have never chased followers on social media or considered buying/creating fake followers and accounts to create the perception of popularity/success. Social media can be a bit of a freeloaders paradise, I have always thought that one paying customer is worth more than 10,000 social media freeloaders and very few of my real-time patrons have social media accounts.
I think that the quality of work you showcase is more important than the number of followers/likes/retweets you receive. If I am uploading clips to platforms I will always post promos and these do drive sales with online clip boys. Some of my best real-time patrons have tended to scour through all of my online platforms before deciding to contact me and these encompass websites, clip stores, youtube and social media. So social media plays a role, but it's not a significant contributing factor to my success, I certainly don't spend a huge amount of time on these platforms day in and day out.
I like to use social media to create and spread positivity within the community, I also find it efficient for sharing information and meeting other people from the industry.
DommeAddiction:
Have you been told You make men nervous often?
Goddess Maya Liyer:
Yes, men and women
DommeAddiction:
DommeAddiction:
Is there a specific type of slave You find is drawn to you?
Goddess Maya Liyer:
Discerning, wealthy, older gentlemen, often high profile. Discretion is the most important factor in my business model and is the reason I keep a relatively low profile.
DommeAddiction:
Can all submissive men be persuaded to slip across that line into financial domination?
Goddess Maya Liyer:
Consent is key.
DommeAddiction:
If there was one thing you could change about being a financial dominatrix, what would it be?
Goddess Maya Liyer:
There isn't.
DommeAddiction:
Have You always been dominant in your interactions with men?
Goddess Maya Liyer:
Yes
DommeAddiction:
At what point did you first realize the power You held over men?
Goddess Maya Liyer:
From the age of 16
DommeAddiction:
Is there one type of clip You enjoy making more than all others?
Goddess Maya Liyer:
I only film clips that I enjoy making.
DommeAddiction:
If we were conducting this interview in person, how would it end?
Goddess Maya Liyer:
I have never given any interviews all the time I have been in this industry, as discretion and privacy are so important to me and my patrons.
DommeAddiction:
What is the best way for slaves to show You they are sincere in their desire to serve and spoil?
Goddess Maya Liyer:
DommeAddiction:
Is there anything else you would like to tell your admiring worshippers, and future slaves, reading this interview?
Goddess Maya Liyer:
I focus my time and energy on those who support my work and are privileged enough to be serving me presently. I have a wealth of Femdom work for potential new slaves to discover, so enjoy.
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You can read the edited version here: DommeAddiction website and social media Twitter.
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